I think im going to throw up on grandma
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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