a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
