Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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