aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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