I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize