Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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