Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
