I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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