She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
smell my finger.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
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