i don't like sucking hair
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize