shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
