Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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