can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Randomize
