I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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