He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
im holly from the hills drunk
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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