if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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