She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
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