My nipple is on Facebook.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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