Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
