PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
