Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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