I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I wish you could order shots online.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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