For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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