he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
