you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
