He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
