Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Couch. On fire.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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