i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
