i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
