so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
