four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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