I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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