I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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