I love black thongs
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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