The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
