I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize