You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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