office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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