carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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