i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
