Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Randomize
