...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
