I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
