im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
