Kiss
Puke
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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