you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
