I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
