Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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