the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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