i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
