dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
