dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
