bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
