Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize