I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
