You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He better not be in your backpack
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
