i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
God, I missed his penis.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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