Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Randomize
