i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
