kristin has been a bad kristin
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
We have started to decorate penises.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize