Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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