And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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